'Lego', an outgoing young woman with a passion for life. She treasures what she learns from her mistakes, rediscovers values in life through failures and re-establishes her faith. The process was paved with tears and sorrows, and was never easy. These are her own words, straight from her heart.

Lego realized her sexual preference from a very young age. However, fear and social pressure did not permit her to accept the way she was and she chose to hide her true feelings in the abyss of her heart. Studying aboard, Lego was nurtured in a traditional church. Growing up in a protected environment, she always followed the conventional way of living as decreed in church, and never seriously gave thought or considered the kind of life that would really suit her, let alone her true needs. Of course the 'true myself' never dared to be revealed, just a tip of the iceberg. But the frozen iceberg would melt one day, and hardships followed!

What does a girl want? What does a girl need? Love. Lego met a boy in the church and without thinking too much, she started to date him. Friends around her were all approving about their partnership. As graduation nears and thoughts of immigration entered their minds, she made the impetuous and immature decision: marriage. Having gotten married and living in a new and remote land, both parties had to get used to each other's way of living. Without the support and help of friends, and with the boredom of work, their relationship was challenged from many sides. It did not help that both of them tend to be introverted. They seldom shared about their unhappiness and difficulties, and they were not skilled in being considerate towards each other. Consequently, the quality of the relationship deteriorated. In the meantime, Lego met a girl from the church, and they became close friends, and eventually became lovers. With the relationship, Lego would eventually be able to discern her feelings towards both of them.

There is indeed "love" towards her husband, but Lego simply could not love him whole-heartedly. 30% could well describe the portion of her love that she reserved for him. By comparison, she loved her girlfriend with all her heart, and she strongly sensed the passion she felt for her. Guilt came abound-the guilt of betraying her husband, as well as the invisible pressure from within her church, not to mention the culpability she felt that stemmed from her faith. Although her affair had not been discovered, a certain panic always resided in her.

Eventually, Lego revealed the truth to a pastor at church, and was forced to break off contact with her lover. Lego felt desperate and lonely after this Eventually, she did not want to deceive both the 'the real me' and the husband. Knowing that it is unfair for the husband to continue the relationship that was a sham, she decided to seek divorce. Later, Lego resumed her relationship with her girlfriend and this continued for over a year. Her partner declared that she was not genuinely homosexual. After having careful thoughts about the rocky paths in leading a homosexual lifestyle, she proposed breakup.

This was the biggest sorrow of Lego's life. She had not been faithful to her conscience, had not been willing to accept herself, and unwittingly got married as an escape, squandering the love from her ex-husband. Nevertheless, on a more positive note, Lego finally experienced what is called real love, and began to search for her own identity and a happy life.

Waking up from darkness and pain, Lego returned to Hong Kong alone and determined to seek herself as well as her faith. She finally admitted that she is a lesbian and has been joining activities hosted by the gay community. She learned more about herself and the world through trying to understand others. She believed that there are many people also facing the same difficulties as she faced. Since society does not accept homosexuals, many are forced to make unwilling choices, consequently causing more harms and social problems. Human beings are beings who cannot live alone: we are co-dependent and any individual actions will not affect the individual but also society in general. By suppressing, attacking and pillaging the minorities to the extent that they lost the breathing space, it is ultimatley the society at large rather than the minority that is being hurt.

We all have our pasts that we are not proud of; People must learn to forgive themselves, and must understand that they have to forgive others. After regretting, Lego believes that we are responsible in facing our consciences, and we should try not to repeat our errors. We must accept ourselves with a strong will, in our successes and failures, our preferences and personalities, and our strengths and constraints.

As for her faith, Lego often ponders on what qualities constitute a good Christian--she does not know. However, she believes God's creation is to let human to live truthfully. She will strive to love herself, others, and to love the world. This will make life abundant and meaningful.

For this reason she is quite willing to share her experiences with others. Moreover, she comes to understand herself (and human in general) more through the processes of sharing and communication.

Life as experienced by Lego is like 'Lego' blocks: there is a time to build and a time to demolish. With faith in God, and her life experiences, she is being rebuilt and demolished, too. It is to be hoped that after these processes, her life will be as colourful as the 'Lego' blocks.

Ordinary stories of ordinaries lives. What make the ordinary stories extraordinary often depends on a thought.

What touches our hearts laid all around us. In the gay community, many experiences are exceptional. Some may be doleful, some may be solacing, but all encompassing multitudes of emotions. With human living thousands of generations, our hearts weathering through ups and downs, and with other people' stories...just when will we truly understand the essence of "loving and helping each other in egalitarianism" is what enables the human race to carry on?

What Lego is longing for now is to do something meaningful, but what are meaningful things? To share with others, or to support? What about you? What are meaningful things for you? Do you still cling to self-righteous, self-protective values of living for sake of survivial? Or...

Magnanimity is the conclusion of this article.